Ever Have One Of Those CRAZY Friends?

I have.

I've spoken before about this fucktwit of an ass that I used to be friends with.  I previously blawged about a classic moment pertaining to him here

Thankfully, he's been long ago excised from our lives like a hideous boil cut away from a relieved body.  A stupid, ceaselessly ignorant boil.

Anyhow, I was going thru some of my files the other day when I came across these gems.

The Story:

This occurred during a seeming turnaround in Asshead's life, when he (briefly) started to get his shit together.  He managed to stop living in his van (yes, down by the river) and stealing scrap metal to sell for weed and actually found legitimate work and a legitimate apartment.

Alas, like EVERYTHING else in his life, he totally fucked it all up.  And, like everything else he fucked up, it was all totally his own stupid, ignorant-boil fault.

He called me at work one day in a foul mood.  As it turned out, he had just been informed that he was being evicted.  When I asked "how come?" he read the eviction notice he had received, along with a letter from the building superintendent.   Later, after I regained my composure from the deep hacking fits of laughter, I invited him to come by my work and show me these "documents".

Well, he wasn't exaggerating.  Check them out (I took pictures):

[click to enlarge]

Imgp0970_large

Imgp0973_large

God I love that letter from the super.  "Sorry, I meant to say you have small balls…"  Hahahahahaha!

So after this incident, it was back to the van for him, getting sustenance by going to fast food joints and saying: "Yeah, I just had a Whopper and it tasted like PURE SALT!" and then staring at the staff until they gave him some free shit to just go away.

Which is what pretty much everyone he's ever come in contact with over the course of his entire life have told him one way or another:  "Just…..just go away."
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