Archive for April, 2010

Larry King Has Been Married 8 Times Because He Has Beer and Cabbage For Dinner Every Day

April 30, 2010
Too bad he didn’t have a fart-snuffing sheet.


Spocker Shocker!

April 27, 2010



April 27, 2010

Youtube Is Backward

April 26, 2010
They wouldn't allow a vid of the real thing, but isn't this FAR more offensive?  

Wasn't this a Marcel Marceau routine?


April 26, 2010



April 26, 2010

Or, as older-folks like to say: "co-winky-dink". (which, when I was 10, I turned into "co-wrinkly-dink".  Clever, right?)

Anyway, I was just thinking about some infamous coincidences, specifically the whole Lincoln/Kennedy thing.  You know the story:  there are a number of AMAZING coincidences between Abraham Lincoln and JFK.  Such as:

  • Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy who warned him not to go to the Ford Theatre.  JFK had a secretary named Lincoln who warned him not to go to Dallas
  • Lincoln was elected in 1860.  Kennedy was elected in 1960.
  • Both were shot on a Friday
  • Both had successors named Johnson
  • Both were President of the United States
  • Both were shot by a gun and hit with a bullet
  • Both were "chubby-chasers"
…and on and on.  Actually, if you look into the whole "Lincoln/Kennedy" amazingness, it turns out that most of the fantastic coincidences are actually bullshit.  Oh well.

The reason I was thinking about all this crap that my grade 4 teacher told me long ago was because of the Stanley Cup playoffs.

See, I recently purchased a Tivo, which has allowed me to follow more playoff games than ever.  I've been mighty happy that I've been able to follow my new favorite team (or at least, alternate favorite to my hapless Leafs)…the San Jose Sharks.  They played against the Colorado Avalanche in the first round.  Colorado usually have a pretty good team, but I haven't really seen much of them in the last year or two.  I did know, however, that their former captain and all-around superstar Joe Sakic had retired after last season.

So here I am, watching my Sharks take on the Sakic-less Avalanche…and who is the new coach of Colorado?  Some dude named Joe Sacco!

I'm sure I am not the first to notice this.  But I'm the first one to make mention of it on Velveteen's Funstuff © !

Ok, maybe it's not the wildest coincidence ever.

It's certainly not as crazy as the fact that: one of the policemen involved in the 1992 Rodney King beating was Officer Koon. 

That's just fucking weird.

PS:  Tivo's headquarters?  San Jose.

At Least Heywood Jablome Is A FAKE Name…

April 24, 2010

Velveteen’s Funstuff © Turns Two!

April 24, 2010


Happy Birthday, you old son of a bitch you.

I Have An Android, So I Appreciate This Gag

April 22, 2010



April 22, 2010