The Niagara Waterfalls

Since I didn’t get to spend X-Mas with the “wife” & kids (they went to visit family in Quebec…I had to work) we decided to have a mini 3-day getaway to Niagara Falls last week.

We take day-trips to the Falls at least a couple of times a year (it’s only an hour from home) and usually go to the same old places each time…the (water)Falls (natch), the Midway arcade (for the kids), up & down Clifton Hill, etc.   I enjoy visiting N.F., despite it being a shlocky, tacky, cash-grabbing whore of a town. It’s still pretty.  And the kids like all the shit there.

We stayed at a hotel just a block over from Clifton Hill, right by the casino.  We arrived an hour before the gold medal hockey game started and spent our first 3 1/2 hours in town watching it.  

Over the next couple of days we went: on the Skywheel, to the Skylon Tower, to Bird Kingdom and the Butterfly Conservatory (as well as the Waterfalls of Niagara, the Midway arcade, and up & down Clifton Hill….many, many times.  Oh, and Perkins too.  And Denny’s.)

‘Twas a nice little vay-cay.  Here are some visuals:

This was immediately after Canada won the gold…

Also after the gold-medal game.  The guy in this pretty much sums it up if you ask me.

Niagara Falls has several haunted house joints.  There’s this one right on the main strip that has a box outside that is meant to have some sort of scary creature inside it.  It makes noises and bumps around every so often, to entice passersby to go inside and have the shit scared out of them.  Every time we pass it, my youngest son (who is 6) always gives the box a wide berth.  He is not enticed.  This routine has been going on for years.

This is in the aforementioned Perkins restaurant.  Sam just took off his touque.

At the Bird Kingdom…

Ok, this is just gross.  This is so dark and almost indiscernible but I had to include it.  What we’re looking at here is the fruit bat exhibit at Bird Kingdom.  Vicki & I were watching them hang around, eating their din-din.  Then Vicki noticed (figures) something odd about this one little bat hanging in front of us.  He seemed to be suddenly sporting a little fuzzy worm-like object in the old crotch area that he wasn’t sporting just before.  He then proceeded to attempt to force this object into the crotch area of his neighboring fruit bat.  This other bat didn’t seem to like that much, as it started flipping out.  The bat-rape lasted a few moments (we couldn’t help…they were enclosed) until finally the victim wrangled free and got the fuck out of there.  

Now, this video is of immediately after that.  Unfulfilled, our little bat-rapist friend here decides to take lemons and make lemonade.

This…this is video of some bat self-fellation.  Yes, a self-on-self bat-beej.

This is Sam buttering his bun at Tim Horton’s.

This is in the gift shop section of the Rainforest Cafe, a restaurant whose motif is that of a rainforest-meets-Chuck E Cheese.  They’ve got animatronic animals and stuff and the place is all dressed up like a jungle.  Anyway, we were walking around the gift shop when this tree-face started babbling on to me about how bad it will be when all trees are destroyed.  My comment at the end was an instant hit with Sam, who has been saying it regularly, much to his mother’s chagrin.

This is me pitching a snowball at the brink of the waterfalls of Niagara with one hand and filming with the other.  See it??

The elevator ride to the top of the Skylon Tower.  Dig the freakshow elevator operator.

The scary box…again.

This is at the Butterfly Conservatory, a place so very enthralling and exciting.  They’ve got…..butterflies.  Oh, and there’s a gift shop too. Here, I was filming some of the majestic bugs when I noticed that Patrick seemed to have a problem.


And here’s some pictures. (remember, you can click on them to enlarge.)


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