Life Lessons I Pass On To My Kids

(conversation while driving the kids home from school…Sam is 6.  Patrick is 10)

Me:  So Sam, we have to go to the school tonight for your Christmas Pageant….what do you do in it?

Sam:  My class just sings a song.  You're not going to like it.

Me:  Why won't I like it?

Sam:  'Cuz the song is stupid.

Me:  C'mon….I'm sure I'll like it.

Sam:  No you won't, it's gay.

Me:  What?!

Sam:  The song is gay.  It's stupid.

Me:  Hey, you don't say that…that's not a good thing to say.  That's like…a bad word.

Patrick:  No it isn't.

Me:  Well the way he's using it is not nice.  You don't call something "gay" when you mean "stupid".

Patrick:  It could mean "happy".

Me:  Yeah yeah…but that's not what he meant.

Patrick.  I know.  There's a kid in my class that always calls people gay.  He'll be like: "You're so gay".  I should just say: "Yeah….I AM happy."  Ha ha.

Me:  Yeah well…that's not quite good enough….

Patrick:  What do you mean?  "Gay" can mean "happy"…

Me:  I know, but you can't just leave it like that.  You can't just say: "Yeah I AM happy". It's too weak.  It's like "I know you are but what am I?".

Patrick:  What do you mean, weak?

Me:  It's gotta pack more punch.  Next time, say something like: "Yeah….I AM happy.  You know why I'm happy?  Because I just keep thinking that, in the future, you and everyone your family will be dead."

Patrick & Sam:  Awesome!!

Me (smug):  I know.

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One Response to “Life Lessons I Pass On To My Kids”

  1. anthony marco Says:

    Well played.

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