‘Cause I really wanna know…

who r u.mp3
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Due to the overwhelming popularity of Velveteen's Funstuff ©, I set up Google Analytics last year to track traffic, specifically to see how many visits I get, where visitors are coming from, what is being looked at, etc.

I did some learning in the last year about how to promote the site in order to drive traffic and have to say that I got pretty savvy at it.  It's just another thing that makes me pretty great.

I always find it interesting when I check the stats and see visitors from all over the world.  It makes me wonder:  who the hell are these people, and how did they get here?  

Google Analytics allows you to drill-down to see visits by day, by city, and most importantly (for me anyway), the "bounce rate".  The bounce rate is a metric that basically helps you determine if someone came to the site by accident and said: "WTF is this shit??" and closed it down right away.  Also helpful are "Average Time on Site" and "Pages Per Visit".  When using all in conjunction, you get a good idea of who is digging shit and also thinks I am great.


The majority of visits are from Canada (where I live, and the people who know me live) and the States (where I know no one).   And then there is always a smattering of visits from assorted countries.  And since I only have 6 friends, I get curious as to who everyone else is.

For example, today I thought to myself: Who the fuck in TEHRAN is checking out the site (4 pages worth!)…and why??

And then there's regular visits from some cities that make it obvious it's the same people returning.  (I'm talking to you Ithica, Baltimore, Shrewsbury, LA and NYC).

So seriously, who are you people?  Leave a comment, or send me a message or something.  I think you're pretty great too.

3 Responses to “‘Cause I really wanna know…”

  1. Dave Says:

    I like yur style dude and I take comfort knowing yer out there takin-er-easy for us sinners. Seriously though… I am your fan from Southern California, not sure if your googley witchcraft tells you Orange County or Los Angeles but I am in Orange County and please don’t refer to it as the OC, only douche-bags call it that. I have no idea how I found your site in the first place but I enjoy your sense of humor. I just spent a few minutes getting caught up. I used to visit your site daily when I was working full time in a lovely cubicle. Not sure what that says about my previous job or my work ethic.Anyway, keep it going…

  2. Velveteen Ballsac Says:

    Well that is cool Dave. Thanks for the patronage and I’m glad to hear you dig the stuff here. Keep coming back. You’re beautiful.

  3. Captain Anonymous Says:

    I’m not going to say who I am, I may have met you at one point may have not. *runs away*

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